I’ve never been a vitamin girl. I’m terrible about remembering to take them. They generally leave a weird aftertaste in your mouth, even if they’re not the chewable ones. I’ve always had trouble swallowing pills the size of my head. More than a few of them have made me feel sick for the remainder of the day (and isn’t that the opposite of what vitamins are supposed to do?). Do I need to keep on going with reasons vitamins are not my friend?
As a kid, my mom gave me a chewable Flintstones vitamin every morning. They tasted awful… some funky mix of chalk and medicine. The supposedly ‘kid friendly’ box advertised that they came flavored with yummy fruit flavors. Skittles are fruit flavored. Starburst are fruit flavored. Flintstones vitamins are NOT. It pretty much scarred me for life when it came to vitamins.
I have, however, been a ’sucker for marketing and pretty packaging’ girl. And that is precisely how GNC’s new line of wellBEing products landed into my little vitamin-starved hands.
I was on a mission to find some sort of ‘cleanse.’ At some point in recent months, I had talked myself into believing that I was in desperate need of a cleanse. Why I couldn’t just hop in the shower and call that a cleanse is beyond me.
So here I stood in GNC overwhelmed and confused. I saw shelves and shelves of stuff touting ‘mega muscle, hardcore weight lifting, power boosting, monster milk, 16 pack abs.’ Hmm, not quite what I was looking for. Turning around, I saw shelves of ‘appetite control, lose weight, beat bloat, be slim, get a hot body.’ Again, not quite what I was looking for.
All I wanted was a cleanse… for some reason I still hadn’t figured out. I just knew that I wanted and needed it, and when I talk myself into wanting and needing something, there’s no turning back. That’s when I ran across a ceiling to floor display of wellBEing products. Oh, they were packaged so nicely. Simple and white. No big, bold letters screaming things at me. No outrageous claims of being able to mold me into Miss Muscles or being able to slim me down to Miss Mini in 14 days.
And oh my goodness, they had a cleansing kit! I snatched it off the shelf, barely glancing at what this cleanse actually entailed or what it cost. The next morning, I opened the box and found this -
What IS that green liquid stuff?!?!
Am I going to turn into an alien if I drink it?
I was pretty sure I was going to wake up the next morning as an alien… or a plant.
But since I was convinced I needed a ‘cleanse,’ I held my nose and gulped, gulped, gulped.
Hey… this isn’t so bad…
It’s actually not terrible…
And it wasn’t. I was pleasantly surprised. It kind of tasted like fruit punch mixed with something I’m still trying to put my finger on. Whatever it was, it definitely didn’t taste like it looked.
So for the next seven days, I drank the mystery green potion twice a day and took four pills. Seven days later, I couldn’t actually say for sure that I was any cleaner. I didn’t feel any different. I couldn’t tell if I looked any ‘cleaner.’ Maybe from now on, I’ll just hop in a scalding hot shower, scrub down with a loofah, polish from head to toe with a sea salt scrub and call that a ‘cleanse.’
Element Girl wants to know…
Do you take vitamins? What kind(s)?
Do you think I should write Skittles or Starbust and tell them to start making vitamins? (Because wow… that would be awesome!)
