a girl in her element

I have long hair, typically about waist-length.  I’ve had long hair all my life, and while I love it, it is not the kind of hair that cooperates.  It’s not naturally shiny, voluminous or frizz-less.   I would never ever be considered for a hair care commercial because they require models to sashay down the street swishing their shiny locks back and forth in a glamorous and carefree manner.   My hair is anything besides glamorous and carefree.  Heck, half the time, I’m lucky if I can keep it from looking like a comfy place for a bird to call home.

At some point towards the end of the teenage years and into my earlier 20s, I convinced myself that pricey shampoo HAD to work better.  My best guess is that it was the result of a combination of reading some article in a magazine (probably titled “The Best Beauty Products” but should have been titled “The Companies Who Spend the Most Money on Product Promotion“) and being somewhat brainwashed by the hairdresser who somehow got the crazy idea that I would be open to spending more money on shampoo than on a good steak dinner.

And so I set out on a journey, a long and expensive voyage.  About six years later, 1,974 bottles of shampoo (and conditioner) stowed away and hundreds of dollars poorer, I have returned from my expedition with an astonishing discovery.

I went from this…

The shampoo that works best to tame my bird’s nest is one that costs less than $5.00!  That’s less than a value meal at McDonald’s (although much less tasty… not that I’ve ever accidentally gotten shampoo into my mouth before)

… to this.

There are some things that I don’t mind spending money on (like a good steak dinner!), but I’ve decided, once and for all, that shampoo is not one of them.

I’m so excited I can now stroll down the street without birds landing on my head.

Ever since I moved, I’ve been looking for a box of photos.  I’ve been extremely fearful that I lost them somewhere because these are photos that can’t be replaced.  I should know that when I can’t find something, the first place to look is at my mom and dad’s house.

Why?

Because I still have quite a few boxes stashed in a closet there.  Mostly books, some clothes and a large (and embarrassing) collection of plush animals.

Why?

Because isn’t that what kids do? Fill their parents’ closets with boxes so they don’t have to fill their own?

No?

Well, okay, but that’s what I do.  So the other day while I was digging through one of their 13 closets, I came across my long lost box of photos!

It was such a joyous day! And to add to my existing giddiness, there were a ton of other really cool mementos from my childhood in there.

Like this memory book from 3rd grade -

I think Seth was just being nice.  I can be a hard worker.  I’m sometimes a super smart student.  I am NOT good at math.  I don’t ever remember being good at math.  Oddly enough, I don’t ever voluntarily wearing a dress either… with flowered, puffy sleeves to boot.

And a stack of photos about as tall as I might have been in third grade -

Photos of me as a baby, as a toddler, as a kid, as a teenager… and apparently as a baby who stuck her finger in an electrical socket one too many times.

A card from the hospital where I was born -

I now see I was destined to have big feet.

My first Christmas card -

I also have about 1,928 cards from other random occasions, and to this day, I still save every card I get.

And the main reason I was in a desperate search for this box -

Lots and lots of studio photos of me as a baby.  I swear there are photos from at least every other month.   I mentioned this abundance of photos of me (in contrast to the 5 photos my parents took of my brother) to my dad.  His answer – “You were the first born.  We were very careful.  By the time, you get to the second one, you drop a carrot on the floor, you wipe it off and give it to them.”  And so there’s your welcome into my dad’s world of bluntness.  Do you think I should mention to my brother that there’s a good chance he ate dirty carrots?

And lastly, an envelope stuffed full of ticket stubs -

To everything.  Basketball games, tourist-y attractions at Niagara Falls, theme parks, tourist-y attractions like caves, movie stubs, tourist-y attractions like train rides… yes, we did a lot of tourist-y things as a family, but hey, I’m not complaining.  And… a ticket stub to ‘America’s Sexiest Bachelor’ show at MGM Grand?!?!?  One, I went to this as a teenager…. no wonder not all is right in my head now.  Two, when, who, what, where are they doing this again?!

Slowly make your way up the driveway.  Creep towards the door.

Are you sure to want to knock on this door?

Are you positive?  This is the crazy house.

Weird people live here. People who do this to their car…

And do this to their cheese…

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

They eat sandwiches.  I wonder what’s really in them.

People who want you to think they’re eating soup but really, they’re not.

They try to cover it up by doing this with their cheese.

But don’t fall for it.  I mean it.  Why would you believe these strangers?  They do this to their cats…

Oh wait… you just wanted some candy. Well, why didn’t you just say so?

Help yourself!  Just don’t take too many pixie sticks or else Frankie’s “hair” will be all gone.

Trick or treat!  Hope ya’ll come back again, ya hear!

Seriously… come back, please.  This is not the creepy residence.  I promise.

Wait until Christmas.  Then you can judge me!

I bought this book at Barnes and Noble a couple months ago.  One, because it was on clearance and two, because it sounded like it might be fun.

Little did I know that I would actually find my job listed, among skydiver, game show contestant, Santa Claus and beekeeper.

I’ve never thought of my job as being ‘odd’ although repeated conversations like this should have been a clue -

Stranger: So… what do you do?

Element Girl: I’m a ____.

Stranger: ‘Oh, uhh, what do you do exactly‘?  or just simply a blank stare or a look of confusion prompting me to explain what I do.

So listed on this page is my job, and not only is it considered ‘odd,’ it’s listed under ‘The Oddest of the Odd,’ a group of jobs that warranted their own extreme category heading.

Any guesses as to which one it is?  Stay tuned to find out my ‘odd’ job!

I’ve never been a cold weather person.

I’ve also never been a runner.

So October 18th should be lots of fun for me.   I will be in Denver where it’s already 45 degrees and it’s only September.  I will be running the half marathon which is 13 miles, actually 13.1 miles to be exact.

From those facts, it should be easy to deduce that I will not be the happiest camper.  I don’t recall the exact moment I was roped into this.  I was probably lassoed into it.  I had to be.  I can’t imagine myself voluntarily agreeing to something like this.  Maybe I only heard the word, Denver, and tuned the rest out.   Say ‘Denver’ and I’m sold.

Would-you-like-to-hitchhike-your-way-to-DENVER?

Of course!

Would-you-like-to-live-in-a-box-on-the-street-in-DENVER?

Most definitely!

Would-you-like-to-exchange-your-left-arm-for-a-week-long-vacation-in-DENVER?

Yes, yes, yes!

Would-you-like-to-run-a-half-marathon-with-me-in-DENVER?

Sure, I’d love to!

I don’t know where my adoration for Denver comes from.   There’s no logical explanation… like many of the thoughts floating around in my head.

Denver guidebooks I’ve been pouring through

Well, I guess what better way to see Denver than to run… jog… walk… drag my feet slowly through it?  Well, whether I finish it by running like a champ or calling a cab to take me to the finish line, I’m going to be grinning because I’ll be in Denver!

Element Girl wants to know…

Have you ever run a half marathon or marathon?  Do you have any tips?

What’s your favorite city?  Why?

I stockpile, hoard, collect, accumulate,  gather,  save,  stow away.  No matter what word you use, it boils down to one thing – I have a lot of stuff.

Let’s get one thing straight though.  I am not a pack rat. I might ’squirrel’ things away, but I’m not a ‘rat’ of any sort.   (Well, except in Chinese astrology.)

My dad laughs at me for having so many water bottles in the Element.  My friends poke fun of me for having 12 bottles of the same lotion.  My cats are amused by the fact that I have a backup stash of food and treats stored away for them.  I, however, am less than entertained by their jokes.  You never know when you’re going to need something, right?  Why not have a couple… or seven… or 19 extras laying around?

And gift bags are no exception to the rule.  You never know when you’ll need one… or 49.  Eventually somebody’s birthday, wedding, anniversary, birth of a baby, dog’s birthday will roll around.   That’s why when I saw these at Target, I decided I needed them, to add to my collection of 180 other gift bags stashed in a closet that no longer closes.

How awesome are those?!?

Everyone wants to receive a gift in a bag with a polka dotted dog, right?

And if for some reason that I’ll never comprehend they don’t want a polka dotted dog gift bag, here’s one donning a variety of other adorable animals.  Owls… who doesn’t like owls?

They come complete with coordinating cute gift tags.  I just might have to wrap a gift to give to myself…

And cute mini greeting cards!  There’s always an occasion to give someone a “hello” or “congrats” card.

Now it should be understood that I’m a very picky and particular sort of ’squirreler.’   I know that sounds contradictory, but I promise it isn’t.

Element Girl’s Guide to ‘Squirreling’ (I’m quite positive I’m making up words now)

• Make note of items that you – use often; run out of frequently; seem to have to make special trips to the store to get; have to “borrow” from your neighbor.
• These items should be things that are non-perishable.  Canned goods are fine.  Blocks and blocks of cheese are not  (Trust me, I learned this the hard way.)  Cat litter is acceptable, albeit a little strange, even for me.  Cat treats are not (You do not want to end up with a 25 pound cat because you had to feed it 11 bags of treats before they went bad.)
• Squirrel away items that can be used all year round or are in great demand during a specific season.  That’s why I love hoarding gift bags and gift wrap.  For the most part, they’re not season specific.  When they are, for example, during Christmas, you will more than likely need large quantities.  On the contrary, do not buy 34 clown noses or 18 clown wigs for a costume… well, unless, of course, you’re actually a clown by trade.
• These items should not be person/user specific.  Do not buy 19 custom calendars printed with photos of your cats.  Again, trust me, people are confused when you try to force your cat calender on them as a gift.
• Take note of whether these items ever go on sale and if they do, when?  The gift bags above were in the dollar section of Target and then 50 percent off.  They also came in 2-packs. 25 cents per gift bag can’t be beat.
• Stockpile after seasons or occasions for the following year if the items will not go out of style.  Stocking up on extra gift bows and gift tags after Christmas is perfect.  How different can a gift bow look the next year?  Stocking up on 19 pairs of hot pink leggings is likely going to be a waste of money.
• Don’t hoard things simply because they’re on sale.   If you’re buying something simply because it’s cheap and you can’t walk away from a 75 percent off rack, it may not pay off in the long run.  You might end up spending money on things you’ll never use and end up throwing away.
• Have some way of organizing your stockpiles.  I haven’t quite perfected this yet, sot I’ll get back to you when I do.

Element Girl’s Favorite Things to Squirrel Away

• Gift bags, gift wrap, gift tags, cards, tissue paper (as already established)
• Cat toys – I buy them when they’re on clearance and keep a stash on hand.  The kitties eventually tear them to pieces.  Plus, it’s fun to be able to whip out a new toy when they look bored.
• Cleaning supplies – I cannot have enough Lysol in the house.  The end.
• Candles – I buy them when they’re on sale and stash them away either for my own use or for spur of the moment gifts.
• Zyrtec – I know, rather random but seriously… it’s the only thing that keeps my daily allergy attacks at bay.  Therefore, I squirrel away Zyrtec everywhere – the pantry, medicine cabinet, car, purse… my big squirrely cheeks.

So there you have it.  I am not a pack rat. I’m a ‘squirreler’ and proud of it.

Element Girl wants to know…

What do you like to stockpile?

How do you keep your stashes organized?

Being a Las Vegas native, I’d like to think I know the ins and outs of the city, but more often than I’d like to admit, I get a surprise thrown in my face to show me just how little I know about ‘my town.’  Guess it’s a good thing my name is ‘a girl in her element’ and not ‘a girl in Las Vegas.’

The wedding we went to on Friday night was out at a Paiute Golf Course that I didn’t even know existed.  It’s a few miles outside of the city nestled against the mountains.

When I got there, I was thrown for a loop because it was absolutely gorgeous and serene.  For a couple hours that night, I forgot that I lived in Vegas.

Okay, so that’s not entirely true.  The table of very tipsy women I was seated with, making up rules about blackjack and poker quickly brought me back to reality.

If you squint and look really closely towards the right of the photo above, you might see a little white speck.  That’s the bride… and groom, of course, taking photos which I thought was really cool.

I personally prefer the natural scenery of the outdoors (even if it is a neatly kept golf course as opposed to a wild jungle) than the stereotypical (but very true and abundant) back drops of many Las Vegas chapels.

The other thing that led me to shriek very loudly was the ice sculpture.  Thank goodness, this was during the time when the bride and groom were outside taking pictures.  Nothing like being super loud at someone else’s wedding.

I think more than just being a humongous block of frozen water expertly carved, it was the background that it rested against that made it ’shriek worthy.’

Plus, how badly do you want to stick your tongue on it?!? Shrieking and getting stuck to the ice sculpture… what a delightful wedding guest I make!

Element Girl wants to know…

What are some hidden gems in your town?